Chronicles Of A Still Troubled Mind

Chronicles Of A Still Troubled Mind

by: Perrin

i was hoping for a long time to be able to share my story here, but i have been reluctant to do so, because it is like admitting that i indeed have inclinations with the same sex. and i am. but my ego does not want to accept that fact til now. but me stying here at this site and even sharing this story might seal the fact that i am, and in doing some this story you'd be reading will be a symbol of my finally accepting what i might be, how hard this might be to me.

So how did it all started.

It was because of my very horny uncle who has always bought Tiktik newspaper daily when i was 12. He lives with our family, and his hidden stash of pornographic materials is a fact that he had always denied, even though i have been browsing and watching them for months already.

And one day, upon my mother discovering me reading his collection of eroticas, he had my uncle transfer to my lolo's house. So along with him goes the stash.

Wait, i havent answered the question yet.. how did end up writing this in the first place on an m2m site..

oh well, i discovered my uncle's stash of perversion when i was thirteen. Unfortunately for me, i picked and read first, out of dozens of tiktik editions, an article about m2m sex. That newspaper was really funny then. I read that at its sports section. Sports section meaning the erotic story revolves around horny men and women who plays a particular sport. I was totally naïve in all type of sexual acts then, having been interested in searching for the stash only because my mom prohibited us to, even though we do not know of its existence yet. Akala yata sinasama kami ng tito ko sa kamunduhan nya. At that time, we alreaady had the idea that he might be inclined... to the other side.

So there it is. And as im thinking of that event right now, naisip ko kung ipinapanganak ba talagang bakla ang isang tao, if in my case, i was totally straight before. And what i mean about straight is that i have never thought of having a sexual engagement with the same sex.

Whew.. at this point of my wirting, a paused for about a minute or so. I fell so much lighter in a sense. I wasnt able to open up any of this.. things to anyone. Not even to the people i met up in order for me to have this.. feelings inside me be heard. Is it my fault that the first porn i have read was m2m related? If i have read another article perhaps am i not in here writing all these up? Nalilito pa rin ako sa sarili ko, but in the same time, after this past year, i've already discovered myself. Contradicting ba? Maybe its because its way better to be confused than to totally admit to be someone you really wished not to be. I hope that thru writing this, some good ears will be able to enlighten me. Im at work and i need to attend to other things already. I'll make this a weekly therapy session... for a very troubled mind.

Till next week